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bzarcher ([personal profile] bzarcher) wrote2004-03-23 12:30 am

(no subject)

A quote I caught tonight about relationships:

Its all communication. There are two styles of lasting relationships; those that fight bitterly all the time but understand each other. And those that speak softly and mostly listen but understand each other. The rest generally fall apart.

God, I spent all night talking and listening to her, or being quiet. And I still wish she was here for more time, just silent and holding each other.

Love you, [livejournal.com profile] skarlette. Goodnight, my beauty.

[identity profile] gigerlicious.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
I find that quote unrealistic and cynical.

[identity profile] bzarcher.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 10:45 am (UTC)(link)
Too cynical, sure, but unrealistic? Not neccesarily. I think that there is a good point that for a relationship to work, the partners have to have a good understanding of each other, and a lot of communication.

[identity profile] gigerlicious.livejournal.com 2004-03-24 10:16 am (UTC)(link)
I think it is unrealistic to say a relationship is all communication. While I find communication important if not paramount in say a professional relationship or even a casual friendship, I would bristle at the idea that such utility is the entire scope of bonds that are much tighter.

[identity profile] bzarcher.livejournal.com 2004-03-24 10:18 am (UTC)(link)
Okay. But will those bonds be formed without that communication? I'll give you that it will not be 'all' communication, but I think the communication does play a very signifcant role.

[identity profile] gigerlicious.livejournal.com 2004-03-24 11:56 am (UTC)(link)
Sure, that I can concede. However, the quote goes on to further suggest the only forms of communication are either always being a hairsbreadth away from domestic violence or being so paranoid of offense that the 'communication' is some meek form of avoidance. Then of course, the cynical kicker 'the rest generally fall apart', completes the unrealistic bend, and any praise of communication is obscured behind a very hurt and acute perspective of love.

[identity profile] gigerlicious.livejournal.com 2004-03-24 11:58 am (UTC)(link)
For the record, I feel friendship is the key element to a lasting relationship.

[identity profile] bzarcher.livejournal.com 2004-03-24 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Absolutely agreed.

[identity profile] bzarcher.livejournal.com 2004-03-24 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I think the hairsbreadth from domestic violence is a little too strong, because I've seen several couples who do tend to express major opinions through arguments (often quite loud ones), but spend the majority of their time in a much more relaxed mode. I'd also note the 'avoidance' one seems more that the two have a very 'listener' personality, saving comments for when they feel important.

As I mentioned, however, I will agree the final section is way too cynical, and does hurt the attached concepts, but I still believe the concepts, despite the speaker, are sound.