I do things like this because it keeps me from chokeslamming people.

[bzarcher]

From: $Coworker, Ted
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2008 1:32 PM
To: #Americas Helpdesk
Subject: laptop request

All,

See the request below. Is the developer laptop the same as the standard one or do we get the SE config?

---------------------

From: Wagner, Matt
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2008 1:37 PM
To: $Coworker, Ted; #Americas Helpdesk
Subject: RE: laptop request

Proper answer: Standard config, because we don’t really do a developer laptop anymore.

Improper answer: The developer laptop is a rare and terrible beast we only deploy once every 5 years. It’s ivory casing is hewn cold from the bones of a great mountain yeti, it’s screen of purest star sapphire. Instead of a processor, it features a tiny Victorian man who is connected to the “AEtherweb” by means of an even tinier helmet of jade, brass, and onyx. Requests are entered on punch card made of lavender scented muslin, and after he recovers from the heady vapors, the tiny man will produce Alpha code with the power of his mind and a Ouija board.

Comments

[karzon.livejournal.com]

That's fantastic. I want my developer laptop like that. Unfortunately, I have a T61p instead.

[parasaurolophus.livejournal.com]

Did you send him both?
I want to know his reaction! :D

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Well, at least the thinkpad is nigh-indestructible.

'Course I did!

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

From: $Coworker, John
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2008 3:00 PM
To: Wagner, Matt; $Coworker, Ted; #Americas Helpdesk
Subject: RE: laptop request

wow you people have all the good drugs over there we just get asprin in the first aid kit

[legwork.livejournal.com]

I only destroyed one, but before I destroyed it, I crashed it a couple of times a week.

Now I'm crashing a PowerMac a couple of times a week instead.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Really? The old ones I used to use took a hellacious beating and never really stopped working.

Re: 'Course I did!

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

[dasubergeek.livejournal.com]

I got a T60. I feel inferior.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Feel free to lord it over our Boston office, where they're mostly using R51s. :D

[karzon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just upgraded from an R51. It was a good laptop ... 4 years ago. The thing needed a re-image, it was so slow.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yeah, and we're reimaging them fairly regularly. The problem is when budget comes around, replacement equipment is one of the areas where people like to trim...