Dear God, the Salt and Pepper shakers are -armed-.

(Names changed to protect the...well, something or other.)

Rick: "So, looking forward to Denver?" (Our sales kickoff is there this year.)
Chris: "Oh, yeah. Gonna go get out of the hotel when I can, try to relax, have a little vacation."
Rick: "Don't forget to try to grow your hair out some to fit in."
Chris: "Oh, sure. Grow my hair out, smoke some dope..."
Rick: "Get some Birkenstocks."
Chris: "...aren't those, like, lesbian shoes?"
Rick: "-what-?"
Chris: "You know, man, the kinda butch types, and that's the shoes they all wear, isn't that right?"

Rick: "...I don't think I can continue with this conversation..."