bzarcher | It's strange...but I'm doing better. No. Really. :D

Talking to

sk4p as I write this. Things are turning around.

Not the least this comes from a few realizations I should have had awhile ago.

1) If a woman is so unhappy in her relationship that virtual snuggling with me is how she makes herself happy, fine. Quite honestly, it's all transfers of electrons, and most of these people I'd never make a move towards in IRL besides friendship. Besides, more experience never hurts, even if it is all a mental game. ;D

2) I am okay with doing this because I am understanding that I am not actually in an IRL relationship, much less a happy or stable one. (Effectively, I really am single whether I admit it or not.) I am in a virtual relationship with Pteryx, and to be honest, it's not one that has ever gone exceedingly well. She really doesn't seem to respond well to anything other than a friendship with slight relationship overtones. (In fact, she seems quite distasteful towards any kind of intimacy.)

3) I am working to get a better control of my life. I will continue to do so.

4) I am gonna try to find something more stable, relationship wise. I think I am going to hold to my promise to Pteryx for "a little time to try to straighten ourselves out", but I am not count on that as the be all and end all of my romantic life, or as the absolute goal to obtain.

5) I will not let myself be used as a tool, but if I am manipulated, I'm not going to blame myself for it. Rather, I will just not let that person manipulate me again.

I know this isn't everything, but it is a start. And that start is what I needed.