WoBC Log

[bzarcher]

TWoBC - Skull Fortress - Ballade's Rooms.
Welcome to tranquility. "War" Ballade's quarters are as
regimented and meticulous as his day to day life. Everything is neat
and arranged properly, and there is an art to the tidiness of it all.
A few scenes of nature and space hang on his walls, and a shelf above
his well made bed is devoted solely to his beloved Stradivarius,
while a music stand in the corner holds both his own compositions and
the works of others.

Obvious exits:
ut leads to TWoBC - Skull Fortress - Barracks.

Even when more than capable of thinking at the speed of any
computer, some decisions are not quickly or hastily made. But after
some debate, a decision /had/ been reached, and for better or worse
Love draws to a stop outside her counterpart's door, considering it
at length for several moments before simply knocking on it. Didn't
bother to change her clothes, didn't bother to do much at all. There
was no need. ... right?

War Ballade has been tending to his Strad. Ensuring proper tuning,
checking the string tension, carefully sizing the bow. But when the
knock sounds, he looks up, surprised. Standing, he opens the door.
"...Ah."

Love Ballade used to possess one of those exquisitely rare violins.
She'd sold it. Though she did wonder if it was like the one she'd ..
aquired some time ago. Speculation gives way to the same itch of fear
from before and for several moments she doesn't reply at all. A
blink, and without a hitch, as if nothing at all was wrong, she
finally speaks. "You wished to speak with me?"

War Ballade nods, and offers the room to her. "So I did. Would you
care to come in, and sit? I have some tea." His voice is calm.
Controlled. A careful balancing act, indeed.

Love Ballade slips by War quickly after nodding once, not bothering
to linger too close. One can never be sure, after all. "If I'm
inturrupting, I can return later." The intricate dance of nerves was
always a pain. Discovering exactly which would mis-step first was
going to be just as unnerving.

War Ballade shakes his head as he places his violin back onto the
shelf. "Not at all. Merely...routine." Then, he opens one of his
small cabinets and withdraws two mugs, a pot, and some tea. Filling
it, he lets the water begin to steep.

She did have to wonder why he'd wanted to speak to her. For the past
two years, avoiding eachother at every turn had done wonders for
keeping things from getting too off-balancing, why change that now?
Love could think of reasons, too many reasons, but none with definite
answers. And so she remains quiet for several moments, unspeaking,
quietly watching, before she frowns. It wasn't quite like dealing
with someone else. Nobody else knew the things he did. Or understood
the things he did. "... I sold mine," she says quietly, after several
moments of silence. "A few days after the world merge. It seemed a
prudent idea at the time."

War Ballade nods, slowly. "...I considered the same. I finally chose
not to after I saw another had appeared on the market." He then
turns, and presents her with a steaming mug of tea. "We have
constantly passed back and forth without contacting...it has lasted
well enough, but...I am uncertain that we can continue this way."

The mug of tea is accepted lightly, readjusted in her grip a moment
later. The ambient heat thankfully wouldn't burn her like it might a
human, simply meant adjusting a handful of small coolant lines.
"Can't we?" Love was not Enka, after all, to actively seek out her
counterpart. Her sister didn't have quite the same concerns. "I admit
I've considered alternatives at length, but they seemed ... unwise.
Our present course of action is the most assured."

War Ballade looks to her, quiet. "But can it last...? The
Doct....Doctor Albert has already begun modifying my orders. He or
Doctor Alberta may do the same for you. And we may be asked to work
together in the future. It seems pointless to deny the other's
existence, or to spend the majority of our time devoted to avoiding
it." He then sits, and sips his own tea. "Plus...I have thought of you
much, of late."

Love Ballade chuckles quietly at his slip of addressing his version
of Wily. It was, in a way, good to know she wasn't the only one still
getting stuck on that point, even now. Too used to hers being the
only one. "Is that a risk you want to take? Th- .. Doctor Alberta
understands our concerns and has endeavored to maintain things as
they are, and I am inclined to believe that she would continue to do
so." Or hope, anyway. She focuses briefly on her tea instead of him,
brow furrowed slightly, watching the liquid within the cup quietly. A
very subtle frown, more worried than upset, at his next words. "Is
that a good thing or a bad thing?"

You say, "I am willing to risk it. I believe that if our merge was
to complete...well...it would have by now. And we have each taken our
own steps to avoid it. I do not believe that particular fear is valid
any longer." Then, he sips his tea, closing his eyes. "I realize that
Doctor Alberta is doing her best...but she cannot always predict what
Doctor Albert might do." He then sighs. "And...I believe it has been
a good thing. I have wished to know you better. I have wished to
speak to you, much like this."

Admitting it was a fear at all had been disturbing enough. Love
shakes her head slightly, rubbing the bridge of her nose lightly.
"And if we're wrong? What then?" It didn't help that every reason
she'd come up with he was effectively shooting down, one by one. It
didn't relieve the tension in her frame any or do anything for the
headache thinking about all of this caused. "I ... do not know if
that belief is strong enough to take that chance without some form of
conclusive proof that it's more than just belief."
Another several moment's pause, taking the time to actually try the
tea she'd been handed, and finding it quite acceptable. She snorts
softly. "What is there to know better? If you wish to know me, just
look in the mirror."

War Ballade actually acts on a moment's impulse, and his fingers
gently reach out...not quite brushing her hair. "Not anymore. And if
we are wrong....does it matter, anymore? The only thing worse than
perhaps being alone again seems to be constantly, forcibly divorcing
ourselves."

Love Ballade doesn't...quite.. recoil from his fingers, though gray
eyes snap up from the tea to lock on him instead, otherwise entirely
immobile. Very slowly she pulls back and away, expression unreadable
to all but the most experienced at detecting emotions on otherwise
controlled features. "It wasn't going to be forever, just long enough
to make sure it's safe, that the danger's past. Until we *know*."
Who's she trying to reassure, exactly? "You seem to be getting along
well enough with Enka and Enker, being alone here seems nigh
impossible."

War Ballade shrugs. "I...am learning to. But it is not the same." He
sighs. "They are not you. And the level on which we connected...is
something I doubt any of them can ever understand." He then looks at
her. "How long is 'safe'? Five years? Ten? It has already been nearly
three years. I cannot see...what more we can do to wait. Unless you
really wish to involve either of the Doctors in testing it...which I
know I do not."

"...No. That would be.. embarassing, at best." Explaining it would
be worse. "I am not sure how long is 'safe'. Or how much is. I
just.." She sighs quietly, a note of what *might* be defeat edging
her words when she speaks again. "You seem remarkably sure about the
idea that we are not going to ... messily explode or some other
problem. Am I the only one still af-.. concerned?"

War Ballade shakes his head, slightly. "I was afraid for quite some
time. In many ways....I still am. But of late...I have been forced to
realize that if all I do is refuse to deal with my fears, nothing
will ever progress to help those fears be assuaged."

Love Ballade's tone shifts wry. "There are other ways to soothe
fears than confronting them with little preparation. I admit though,
that I have managed to find very few that would effectively work for
our specific situation." She taps her nails gently on the side of the
mug, absently listening to the quiet click-click noise it creates.
"Perhaps it is something to be considered .. later. My stay here was
not meant to be extensive, I am merely here to aquire a few items and
then return to Doctor Alberta."

War Ballade pauses. He then sits, across from her, and shrugs, half
extending his hand. "...and if I asked you to please stay a few extra
days? If not for my request, then for the fact that I know Enka
misses you a great deal?"

There's the temptation to reach out, and find out just what, if
anything -would- happen if they were to touch. An impulse utterly
flattened a moment later, and Love chews lightly on her lower lip.
"My duty to The Doctor comes first, whether or not I would desire to
remain longer. You know that."

War Ballade looks levelly at her, as if detecting the conflict, and
his hand remains there. "And you and I both know that The
Doctor....either of them....has granted such requests before. Indeed,
they tend to Pester Us about if we'd take more time for ourselves
than we do."

Which was almost always replied to in the negative, for what more
would she need than continuing to fufill her purpose? There was more,
was always more, but she generally managed to quite firmly throttle
that down as well. "Perhaps the next time I am sent I may remain
longer." The temptation was still there, and results in a shift of
position and an aborted movement of what might have been the intent
to reach out and touch. .oO( Curiosity killed the cat. )
There was always another time.

War Ballade shrugs, very slightly. "Perhaps." Sensing her movement,
his gaze actually becomes strangely sad. He recognizes more and more
what he has seen in himself, until recently. "Perhaps...and perhaps
you might find it beneficial to spend time with more of Us....I have
noticed it has aided me considerably..." He then gently reaches
acrost and takes her hand in his. "Particularly in matters of self
confidence when The Doctor is not involved."

Love frowns again, almost imperceptably. "There is a chance, however
I still have-" Anything further she'd have said in reply is cut off
at the unexpected contact. Well, not entirely unexpected but it still
comes as a terrible shock, and a mere breath later she jerks away as
if burned, nearly spilling her tea and retreating several rapid steps
backwards, eyes wide, composure entirely shattered. Almost
automatically a system scan is run, finding absolutely nothing out of
the ordinary other than her own strung nerves. "Don't do that."
Whisper-soft, almost too quiet to be heard. But she was still very
much herself and he was still over there, quite himself. Maybe the
point had been proven.

War Ballade looks at her with surprising tenderness, and not a small
amount of relief. "Why?"

"You *KNOW* why." Dammit, there goes her efforts at keeping things
together and in an order that she'd recognize. "Don't ... do that.
Just stay over there." Still quiet, she quickly works on putting
together her scattered nerves again.

War Ballade holds out his hand. "Would you prefer to take my hand?
Is it that horrid to try? Are we so afraid of ourselves?"

Some small, snarky part of her mind suggested that perhaps they'd
been misnamed. *She* certainly wasn't the one making any form of
gentle overture. In fact if he'd actually approached, she'd have
likely hit him out of sheer paranoia. Once she gets a handle on her
own emotions again, it's only a matter of time before Love begins to
regain her composure. Bad enough she'd lost it to begin with. "If you
aren't, consider yourself a lucky man. Because I am." Not quite
horrid, no.

War Ballade continues to hold his hand out. Offering. "Isn't it time
we stopped, Love?"

The mug of tea is set down nearby, lessening the likelihood of her
dropping it, in favor of rubbing the hand that he'd earlier grasped.
Love had remained herself in even that brief contact. What harm could
there be in longer? "... I don't know." Yes, it was, but she'd be
damned if she'd admit it.

War Ballade smiles gently. "I give you my word that if you reach
out...I will only let go if we feel something wrong. And if something
does seem amiss, I will run as far away as I can."

"What would be considered 'wrong'?" When in doubt, stall. Love was
very good at that, too.

"If we feel ourselves losing ourselves. Or, I assume, if
you should scream from anything other than joy or delight."

Love Ballade generally did not scream for *any* reason, and that
comment draws a faintly amused glance. One that vanishes back into
sobriety all too quickly, and she frowns faintly once more, watching
him warily. "I'd ask you why you're so insistant, but I'm not sure if
I want to know why." Fear wasn't something she liked having. Getting
over it would be a good idea, wouldn't it? And yet, she hesitates.

War Ballade shrugs. "Because we should be as close and effective as
the others. Because we can be assets to each other instead of
liabilities. And..." His voice trails off. Now he is the one not
quite able to say what he feels.

Should be. Aren't. The two who by all rights should fear -nothing-
fear most eachother. There was some sick mockery in all of this, and
Love did not like it. "And what?"

War Ballade closes his eyes as he speaks, as if the effort is
incredible. "Because I have learned that I care for you very much.
And because I do not wish to see you suffer as needlessly as I have."

Love Ballade isn't entirely sure what to say in response to that
particular idea. Instead of reaching out here, to touch, perhaps in
comfort, she sits squarely on the floor, legs tucked to her chest,
voice low when she finally ventures a reply. "It's ... quiet, at
night, when the Doctor's asleep and all the work to be done is
finished. Sometimes too quiet, when all I can hear is the sound of my
own thoughts, too loud for comfort. Sometimes those thoughts lead me
around in circles, creating problems where there are none, analyzing
things that shouldn't be analyzed."

"All too often they dwell on this place. On my family here. On you,
and why we weren't like they are. I think too much introspection is a
bad thing. All the conclusions I've come to lead to disaster. This..
was not supposed to happen." A breath, several moments' pause before
she speaks again. "And disaster hasn't struck yet. I think. And I
don't know where to go from here."

War Ballade continues to keep his hand there, and his eyes open,
filled with compassion. "I have been through the same. Even on nights
when others sought to comfort me, my thoughts often returned to the
same problems. And no...it was not supposed to happen. And disaster
has not struck yet." He then kneels in front of her, not close enough
to be threatening. "Then let us find where to go. Together."

She was still afraid. Still nervous, still wanted to get away, leave
before any of the scenarios of disaster followed through. Only
determination kept Love right where she was, a bit of too-pale
against darker floor and walls. Wily damn it, he was just as stubborn
as she was. "And if we're wrong?" If she didn't break her own fears
they'd crop up again when they were most inconvenient.

War Ballade smiles gently. "Then we will recover. And we will learn."

Love Ballade sighs quietly, gaze rising again. "You're not going to
let this go, are you?" Make a choice. Only way to put things back
would be to overtly reject everything he's said and done, and leave.
She didn't want to.

War Ballade looks to her. Gently. His voice is soft. "No. Because
you would be dissapointed in me if I did."

Love blinks once. "... Most likely." Another thing she didn't like
about their similarities. He seemed to already know what she'd say or
do, most of the time. It was mildly frustrating. Slowly, hesitantly,
she moves to extend one hand. Still very much afraid. "I don't like
being dissapointed."

War Ballade delicately, carefully extends his hand to meet hers,
letting her take the final steps. "Then you should not be, obviously."
"I've gotten used to dissapointment, over the years." Fear was a
terrible thing, made one do things one normally wouldn't. Sometimes,
it was possible to however briefly overcome that fear, and very
lightly Love curls her fingers around his, half-expecting far worse
than the simple sensation of another's hand in hers.

War Ballade tenderly squeezes her hand, and strokes his thumb
against the back of her hand. "Then perhaps that, too, needs to
change." And slowly, his eyes come up to meet hers.

Love Ballade this time doesn't jerk away, though for a moment she
nearly does so regardless. Disaster doesn't fall, doesn't seem to be
about to, almost nothing different between now and when she'd first
arrived. Still herself. Still two, not one. "I don't like change.."
In unblinking stormgray eyes, fear remained. And also relief, some
fear abolished enough to make that relief almost painfully deep. She
was supposed to be stronger than this..

"We never have...but this...is, for once...a positive
change." His own voice shows his own relief, and the gentle grip is
maintained. "I have learned...that not all changes are for the worse.
This is a good example."

"It might not last though. What if.." Love cuts her own line of
thinking off before it developed into full blown paranoia again. Too
many what ifs. Maybe all the times she'd been told she needed to stop
worrying over everything that happened, they'd been right and not
she. She didn't like being wrong, either. Quietly, the first hand is
joined by the other, grip tightening briefly. "..I do have to wonder,
though.." Was this why Plant and Plant-Chan were nigh inseperable if
they had their choice?

War Ballade simply reaches out, as her hand goes around his once
again. Then, with an impulse borne of what seems the only right thing
to do, his free arm goes around her, and tenderly draws her into a
close embrace. "It will last as long as we want it to. I do not
wonder about that."

The impulse to pull away rises again in a panicked flutter of
scattered fear, but this time, this time Love maintains her hold on
it if nothing else and allows herself to be pulled closer. It would
be easy to tell, at this closeness, that she was shaking; not much,
nigh imperceptably, but the quiet tremble was there. Fears would not
go away overnight, or through one conversation. But it was a start.
"At least one of us is sure.."

War Ballade gently caresses her back, hoping to ease the shaking.
"In your heart...I think you merely needed the door opened."

"Maybe.." Soothing that tremor won't be easy, but Love doesn't seem
too inclined to move just yet. So much for only staying for a short
while, but a change of plans had indeed wound up a good thing.