bzarcher | Pause for upload. (Reply)

*sigh*

Not sure what I'm feeling right now. It's a very frustrating mix. On the one hand, I'm really glad I've gotten to hang out in person again with

ixx and

bredmold, and they've bee wonderful and indulged me in walking around Squirrell Hill on damnfool crusades for things and stuff. (Acquired MM&B for the GBA, the new Evanescence album, a nifty Hellsing Wallscroll, and I bought

bredmold a really big thick cryptography book he's wanted for a long time as a late birthday present. After all, what good is paying off my American Express if I don't use it again?)

They were even nice enough to take me to a party at

kaote and

progfan's that they were invited to, which was really nice, and I enjoyed meeting and seeing people, though I'm afraid that I mostly sat on the couch, discussed lots of things with lots of people, got mistaken for

bredmold twice, and ate food. ^^;; I'm afraid I don't operate on full pins when I know so few people or the social climate well. OTOH, before I forget, I was quite glad to see

spacemangroove and

ls56 there, as both are look better than the last I saw them (A year to the day, I believe?), and

ls56 did cute things with her hair, which is always good. We even got back in time for me to with

skarlette a blessed solstice before my body started major shutdown due to the sleepdep I've been encountering. (Strangely enough, I'm finding now that I've gotten a maintinence dose of rest in, my body feels like it could do another 48 hours easily.)

On the other hand...the entire reason I came to Pittsburgh originally (seeing

chaoticgoodnik) has, bluntly, failed. I tried to reach her yesterday to no avail after she decided not to go to the SCA event, and no word from her today so far, either. To be blunt, when I make plans to travel because someone specifically asked me to make reasonably good sized trip and stay a few days to see and talk to them, I really expect the courtesy of seeing and talking to them, or at least a phonecall or email to explain what is going on. I spent most of yesterday being worried that something had happened, but since she's made at least 2 LJ posts, yet not contacted me, I can only assume that she has decided that the reasons she asked me to visit are invalid, and...I don't know.

I wish I could say something positive, exculpatory, and forgiving here, because Nikki is a very beloved person in my life. But I can't understand what is going on here, and why I'm getting this very uncharacteristic treatment from her.

Can someone, anyone, explain? I'm about to use the one other possible way to contact here, which is SMSing

blackpaladin's cellphone over livejournal, as I don't posses any numbers or direct contact info for were she's staying, and hoping that somehow I will reach her through this, though it seems extremely rude for me to excercise the option.

On the other hand, I don't have any other option, and I'd rather not go back to Ohio without at least asking if she's okay.