Grilin'.

[bzarcher]

So I went to a BBQ with a bunch of people from work, at one of John's friends.

They had a propane grill being used for the veggie-burgers....and a massive charcoal Weber sitting idle.

"Where's the hotdogs? Where's the burgers?"

Host: "Oh. Um. I don't know how to do a good charcoal fire."

....

How can you live in America and say that? What th' fuck?!

So I ended up making the charcoal fire of GODLINESS, and cooking meat for the whole evening. However, at a half-hour until fireworks were to start in the large park behind his home.....

"Fireworks got canceled."

"What?"

"Apparently the thunderstorm early this morning killed the fireworks computer."

"Well, damn."

So I am home, after displaying that I am still a Grill Mastah.

Comments

[loopychew.livejournal.com]

Well, you could always hope that the same situation I was stuck in a couple years back happened:

Basically, the Americans in Geneva do have a 4th of July celebration, at the End of the Earth stadium ("Stade au Bout du Monde"). In July 2k1, there were warnings of thunderstorms impending, which nobody really paid attention to, until the lightning struck.

After the lightning struck, the fireworks display started, and people applauded...until they realized it was the lightning that set off the fireworks.

Needless to say, when it happened again about ten minutes later, people decided to make their way back to their buses/cars/whatever and start piling out of there...

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Now, see, with my lack of self-preservation? I'd love that.

Teach Me, Oh Master

[duskpaw.livejournal.com]

It hurts me to admit this...

But I never learned how to build a good charcoal fire. My father used to, but then we got one of those propane ones that do an okay job... but I know it's not the same.

So I kneel at the feet of the mastah. Teach me, oh wise one.

Do not tip the vessel of knowledge, my son.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Here's the basic starting answer: You use a good charcoal. I prefer kingsford Matchlight, or regular Kingsford if you can't get Matchlight.

Take the 'lower' grill out. Cover about 3/4 of it, trying to get the charcoal in the center and moving out from there, and in sort of a pyramid shape. (If this goes higher than the top grill will allow, this is actually OK.) I usually use around half a bag for a good sized grill, like a Weber backyard. Smaller grills, esp. hibachi style ones, can use 1/4-1/8 depending.

Make sure the bottom vents are /open/, and the charcoal ash catcher's in place.

Now, if you need to at lighter fluid, do it while you have the charcoal covered 'bottom' on your porch. (Always do this on the porch. It's tradition. Unless you have a wood porch. Then do it somewhere non-flammable.) I try to get it on a decent amount of the charcoal, especially getting some in the inside of the center. The bottles usually can be squeezed for a reason.

Either way, put the charcoal/grill into the Grill. Light it. I usually use matches or a grill lighter, and start it at the center and 2 opposite sides. Let it burn off for a couple minutes, then add the top grill, and cover until the coals are at the heat you want. (Hotdogs/burgers=1 minute. Steaks/chicken=4 minutes.)

Wha-lah. Cover when not cooking or if you're wanting to deep-cook the items in question, keep a decent eye on it, and you have a fire that'll last you most of a night.

Re: Do not tip the vessel of knowledge, my son.

[n9vls.livejournal.com]

If you have to go the lighter fluid route, do it with the charcoal grate still IN the grill... lots of concrete patios today are 'sealed', and any dripping lighter fluid will damage this seal.

Re: Teach Me, Oh Master

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Oh. I forgot a step.

When the fire's been burning, but before you add the top grill on, if you need to, spread the coals a bit with a fired stick or metal tool so that you can lay the top grill comfortably and make sure the center is evenly heated.

[n9vls.livejournal.com]

Get a good grill ( I recommend Weber ), use good charcoal, and use good meat.

I'm not fond of self-lighting charcoal, but if I'm in a situation that calls for it, I'll use Kingsford MatchLight. Otherwise, I stick to normal Kingsford charcoal. ( The more adventuresome can graduate to lump charcoal. Why buy "charcoal with mesquite added" when for a few $$ more, you can get Actual Mesquite Charcoal? )

My method of choice of lighting the charcoal? I use a chimney starter.

But the best way to become a "Grill Master"????
Go out and grill something.

(If you feel you NEED a cookbook to work from, get the Weber cookbook, ISBN 0-8118-3197-3 .)