(no subject)

[bzarcher]

Well, that was fun. Had a nice fight with John from the office while at lunch.

Unfortunately, it's not even something where I can swallow my pride and apologize, because I know I was in the right, nor is it something I feel would be apropriate to back off on, and it's probably going to mean that relations with him may be a tad cool both in and out of the office for awhile.

The base of it comes down to the fact that after being constantly talked down to about stuff both at work, in gaming, and in my personal life where he chose to weigh in, I finally told him that I was tired of him being constantly negative and poo-pooing anything I wanted to do because he felt his way was better for me. (If he even gave that much justification. Just 'You're wrong, and that's stupid.' And if you're really saying something to be a friend or even just because you want to help, that isn't how you talk to people.

He keeps saying that it's 'advice', but there's a difference between advice and condescencion, and I know others in the office have been noticing it, too. Unfortunately, I don't know if it's something that'll really get fixed easily.

Hell, for all I know, it may not get fixed before I leave Wooster. Which is really kinda depressing.

Comments

[snowspinner.livejournal.com]

Back down. Or at least apologize that you came across hostily, or whatever.

Friends have foibles. I'm a superior son of a bitch sometimes too. The fact that you're upset about it, and that you want to fix it before you leave Wooster means that you let it go, you accept that he's condescending, you remember why you were friends with him in the first place, and you make up.

Because, well, that's what friendship demands of you - acceptance that there are things about your friends that will piss you off.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

I don't know. If it was just me, I might, but he's been treating everyone this way, and the fact that he's being increasingly more offensive about it doesn't make me feel like I should be saying 'that's okay.'

[snowspinner.livejournal.com]

To me, issues of friendship become pretty clear cut. Either trashing the friendship is completely worth it, or you let it slide.

The fact that it upsets you that you lost the friendship is a pretty good indication that you shouldn't lose it.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Probably true.

On the other hand, I just got told that he doesn't seem to actually care one bit, so if it's not that important to him, maybe I ought to re-think why it's important to me.

[snowspinner.livejournal.com]

I imagine that he thinks you just insulted him really personally and directly, and that he's too pissed to care.

Which is reasonable, in a lot of ways.

[spacemangroove.livejournal.com]

This is me calling bullshit. If he didn't care that much he would:

1) not get into shit like this as frequently as you seem to say he does.

2) Be willing to recognise that this is how you feel and, if not change how he's acting, then at least try to work around it.

If he is not willing to either then I htink you should really examine if dealing with this shit is worth your time.

Just my instinctual response, feel free to call me on this if I'm off base.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

We'll see.

Before I do anything, taking some time to calm down is probably best.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

As I said, we'll see. Me taking some time to get distance is probably the best plan, regardless.

[snowspinner.livejournal.com]

Nah, just go stab people.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

I disagree. We have not yet reached the point where rampant and unchecked stabbing is the only thing that can save us all.

As the currently appointed stab-master, I feel it best to use some contemplation before launching upon the next great wave of stabbity stabbity stabbity that will help change the world.

[snowspinner.livejournal.com]

http://www.rathergood.com/stabbypool/

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Doot doo dooo dooot dooo.

[snowspinner.livejournal.com]

Puppy drowner.

[buschap.livejournal.com]

Tensions can run high at any time. Take it easy, and bear in mind you've got a nice little break coming up. Take some time to reflect there, and relax. Then you can come up with a plan for how to approach it.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

If I plan to spend as much of my break as possible not even thinking about Wooster or job stuff, does that count as reflecting? :D

[ptika.livejournal.com]

It's always worst when people think they're just helping.

Better back off and let things cool off.