A NSFW writing challenge...

[bzarcher]

The original challenge by vomitcock

That is all of the interesting stuff I have to say.

Sex, sex, pussy, cunt, wang, Yazoo.

There is your discussion prompt. Give me a 300 word essay. Yazoo can either be a cuss word, or the name of the cute silver haired boy in FF:AC. Have fun!

Have you ever looked at some of the stupid words we use today? Really, I think it's not because we actually like these words, or that they have any particular significance. Why, then, do we use them so frequently?

I think it's because the words we had before were even worse. Let's take Wang as a starting example. It's got a bit of a ring to it, really. It's not that bad, it's just not that good. Not that useful, either. Have you ever heard anyone talk about their wang? How it works? Wanging something around? No, no you don't.

Well, okay, there's that Japanese company. But we'll not discuss them. I'm sure it means something equally useless in translation. But look at what it replaced? Penis. Not exactly a word you really want to say in the heat of things.

"Oh, oh god, yeah, you cunt, take it! Take my penis! Take my big penis!"

Yeah. How hot do you really think that gets her? But at least it's better than the really classic form: Pudendum.

Guys, do you think a modern woman wants to ever hear the word pudendum used to describe something that's going to enter her body? What the hell were those Romans thinking?

Personally, I can't even see a Roman woman getting wet for pudendum. I'm sure it's a big joke from Nero or Caligula. Something to mess with the masses while he made up his own secret names for his yazoo and anything else he decided was important. Emperors did that, you know.

I just mentioned Cunt up there, too. Cunt's a great one. Better than vagina? Sure. Doesn't have quite the magic 'stretchability' of rolling labia off your tongue, but it's a good, fast, hard word. That's why it goes so easily to a positive or negative meaning. And it's great for those fast, hard, dirty little sexes.

Pussy? Pussy's kinda odd. How did we get that? I don't know about you, but if my pet cat looked like that, I think I'd want to take it back to the vet! Maybe it's the soft and furry thing.

That aside, it's like the 'secret word', a little double entendre that you can pull out in public and still get away with. But so many people are in on that secret that it's like being the 12 year old who always asks to go to the bathroom and comes back smelling like cheap cigs. You may think you're being sneaky, but everyone just rolls their eyes and keeps on going. I have to admit, though, it can sound pretty good when you're in the heat of it. "I want to rub that hot pussy," "I want to fill your sweet pussy up," and many many more combinations.

In fact, as I think about it, if I'm gonna call it sweet, pussy really is the best word for it. It's got that saccharine sort of tone. You ever call someone a sweet cunt? Oh, no. Hot cunt, wet cunt, tight cunt, sure. But sweet? Uh-uh. Not that sort of word, honey. But pussy fits pretty well in that sweet spot.

No pun intended, of course.


I sound a little like George Carlin there. Not bad.

I'd also like to post my own writing thingy, but it's a bit more tame. Also stolen from kobold.

Please tell me a favorite memory from when you were younger. I'm not to tie it specifically to childhood. Just go nuts.

Yes, work is still slow. Why do you ask?