[Porn] Endgame concept
Apr. 13th, 2005 09:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bzarcherAfter victim 6, the "key" is the sketch artist.
Having both the bookstore clerk and the earlier eyewitness work together creates a fairly good composite sketch of the Goddess. Area buisnesses around the murders are canvassed by patrolmen.
A lucky hit comes from murder #3. A hotel clerk recognizes the face. She came in with a man, late, and the man checked out alone the next day.
Hotels.
D2: If it's a sexual initiation, they'd want somewhere to initiate themselves afterwards. Let's assume it needs to be near the "sacrifice." Send officers to hotels around all four of the remaining murder locations. Hit every single one, ask to look at tapes of guests checking in.
D1: Credit card reciept from the room, too. It's a real card - not one reported stolen.
Officers checking the hotels start calling in - they find the hotels where each lesson took place.
Each credit card is run down. Homes are raided. The two male disciples are found. One was simply sleeping - the other had a woman in his bed at the time. Both are arrested as accessories.
The female disciple is not home - but a run on her credit card quickly finds that she had checked into a hotel the night before. The detectives rush there - running frantically up the hotel stairs to her room, while cars are positioned at the exits. She hasn't checked out, yet.
Banging on the door, no answer.
The door is broken down, and they confront their murderess. She is in the same bathrobe she wore the night before, sitting on the bed. Her new scarf is wrapped around her neck. A look of recognition hits D2's face, but no words pass between them. It is the same room we saw the the dream. (Was it a dream?)
As they approach, weapons drawn, the disciple leaps forward with surprising speed, stabbing D1 in the stomach with her knife - previously hidden in the robe. She pushes past D2 - a gun is fired, but misses. Running, running, the suspect finally reaches a window at the end of the hallway...and throws herself through it. Screams come from the window, followed by a harsh thud.
Dissolve to the ground floor. D1 is being loaded onto an ambulance. Wounded, but alive. No real clues to help them find the ringleader. He shakes his head in frustration, before looking to his partner.
"Crazy. I told you."
She nods, agreeing, and tells him to rest.
We follow her back to the police station. She finishes her paperwork, and goes to their captain. After handing it over, she mentions that D1 will be OK, but she's taking some time off, admitting that she got a little too close to the case. He agrees, but asks for a few last notes on the final suspect, just in case they get a hit on similar cases, or requests from other departments. She hands him the sketch, mentions the video from one of the hotels, and provides what information she can.
Captain: "Get away for awhile. It'll be good for you."
We dissolve to an airport. D2 is sitting in a departure lounge, dressed for a vacation. The loudspeaker mentions a flight to London.
She's waiting for her flight - alternating between a crossword, and drawing on her hand, but we can't see quite what she's drawing.
Her phone rings. It sounds like she's talking to a friend.
D2: "No, no. I just need to get away for awhile. I suppose I'm looking for something, really..."
We can see she's drawn the symbol into her hand.
D2: "I want to see if I can find out more about a few things, and then I'll be back home. I promise."
Too cliche? I'm kinda writing a whole jumble of stuff.
I also had a scene idea where the goddess herself was killed, but the female disciple gets away, but I figured that might be a little too Hammer Horrror. Or for the goddess to be a final victim - killed to establish that last piece of initiation - but I didn't really quite like it.
The other image that struck me was an alternate ending where our second detective went home with a Henna kit, rather than to an airport, and started to tattoo the symbol onto herself in the mirror while she talked to someone about coming over later that night.
I might go with that if people don't like the ending I sketched out there...
Anyhow.
Gimme feedback!
Having both the bookstore clerk and the earlier eyewitness work together creates a fairly good composite sketch of the Goddess. Area buisnesses around the murders are canvassed by patrolmen.
A lucky hit comes from murder #3. A hotel clerk recognizes the face. She came in with a man, late, and the man checked out alone the next day.
Hotels.
D2: If it's a sexual initiation, they'd want somewhere to initiate themselves afterwards. Let's assume it needs to be near the "sacrifice." Send officers to hotels around all four of the remaining murder locations. Hit every single one, ask to look at tapes of guests checking in.
D1: Credit card reciept from the room, too. It's a real card - not one reported stolen.
Officers checking the hotels start calling in - they find the hotels where each lesson took place.
Each credit card is run down. Homes are raided. The two male disciples are found. One was simply sleeping - the other had a woman in his bed at the time. Both are arrested as accessories.
The female disciple is not home - but a run on her credit card quickly finds that she had checked into a hotel the night before. The detectives rush there - running frantically up the hotel stairs to her room, while cars are positioned at the exits. She hasn't checked out, yet.
Banging on the door, no answer.
The door is broken down, and they confront their murderess. She is in the same bathrobe she wore the night before, sitting on the bed. Her new scarf is wrapped around her neck. A look of recognition hits D2's face, but no words pass between them. It is the same room we saw the the dream. (Was it a dream?)
As they approach, weapons drawn, the disciple leaps forward with surprising speed, stabbing D1 in the stomach with her knife - previously hidden in the robe. She pushes past D2 - a gun is fired, but misses. Running, running, the suspect finally reaches a window at the end of the hallway...and throws herself through it. Screams come from the window, followed by a harsh thud.
Dissolve to the ground floor. D1 is being loaded onto an ambulance. Wounded, but alive. No real clues to help them find the ringleader. He shakes his head in frustration, before looking to his partner.
"Crazy. I told you."
She nods, agreeing, and tells him to rest.
We follow her back to the police station. She finishes her paperwork, and goes to their captain. After handing it over, she mentions that D1 will be OK, but she's taking some time off, admitting that she got a little too close to the case. He agrees, but asks for a few last notes on the final suspect, just in case they get a hit on similar cases, or requests from other departments. She hands him the sketch, mentions the video from one of the hotels, and provides what information she can.
Captain: "Get away for awhile. It'll be good for you."
We dissolve to an airport. D2 is sitting in a departure lounge, dressed for a vacation. The loudspeaker mentions a flight to London.
She's waiting for her flight - alternating between a crossword, and drawing on her hand, but we can't see quite what she's drawing.
Her phone rings. It sounds like she's talking to a friend.
D2: "No, no. I just need to get away for awhile. I suppose I'm looking for something, really..."
We can see she's drawn the symbol into her hand.
D2: "I want to see if I can find out more about a few things, and then I'll be back home. I promise."
Too cliche? I'm kinda writing a whole jumble of stuff.
I also had a scene idea where the goddess herself was killed, but the female disciple gets away, but I figured that might be a little too Hammer Horrror. Or for the goddess to be a final victim - killed to establish that last piece of initiation - but I didn't really quite like it.
The other image that struck me was an alternate ending where our second detective went home with a Henna kit, rather than to an airport, and started to tattoo the symbol onto herself in the mirror while she talked to someone about coming over later that night.
I might go with that if people don't like the ending I sketched out there...
Anyhow.
Gimme feedback!
