So glad to be home

[bzarcher]

I'd like to extend a warm 20 minutes of hate to the TSA, for all the various ways they tried to keep me from getting home, and generally treating people like criminals for wanting to travel within their own country.

Actual discussion.

*walking down the ticketing area to the concourse for my flight in Atlanta, to the FULLY STAFFED TSA security checkpoint, whose nylon rope thingies are OPEN*

TSA screener lady: "Sir! Stop right where you are!"

Me: "Bwuh?" (Keep in mind - the wedding reception ended about midnight. After that, I helped get all the tuxes together and turned over to the folks returning them for us, helped Cossack pack up the stuff for the honeymoon, and delivered him, Amanda, their luggage, and all the wedding presents back to the honeymoon suite at the airforce base. Then I drove -2 hours- back to Atlanta, dropped off the car, took the courtesy shuttle, checked in my bags, and still HAVE NOT SLEPT YET.)

TSA screener: "We won't let you through here."

Me: "Um...but my flight is leaving from Gate T-13." (We are, in fact, at the checkpoint for T councourse. I can -see gate 13 down the hallway over her shoulder.-)

TSA screener: "We won't open this gate until 5:30." (WHY? You have 8 people standing around, drinking coffee, and doing jack shit, and the ROPE GATES FOR THE LINES ARE ALL OPEN AND SAY TO COME IN.)

Me: "But my flight boards at 5:30."

TSA Screener: "Too bad!"

Me: "...so can I get through to the T-gates somewhere else?"

TSA Screener: "Suuure. Just walk to the A concourse checkpoint."

Me: "That's at the other end of the airport."

TSA Harpy: "Sure is!"

Without many options, I turned and walked the length of the ticketing area, past baggage claim, and to the A checkpoint, where I joined a nice large line that every TSA employee got to cut in front of as they came through. Even better, despite only being open since 4:00am (and it was now 4:30), the line was being stopped so that some of the screeners could go on breaks.

Finally, I got to where I showed the guard my papers and identification.

TSA lady #2: "Are you having a blessed day, sir?"

Me: "...no, ma'am."

TSA Lady: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! Why?"

Me: "Because I'm being forced to walk a loop around the entire airport rather than just allowed to go through screening at T-concourse."

TSA Lady: "Ohhh. Yeah, they don't open until 5:30. Sorry, baby."

Have I mentioned that while I think it's kinda cute to hear people calling each other Miss $name or Mr. $name in conversation, I'm really tired of the phrase "sorry, baby"?

After removing all my items for the checkpoint, being screened and walking all the way back to my gate, (including right back past the Harpy, who was apparently unable to let me through the gate because she was ordering her morning Starbucks, which was being dropped off to her as I walked past), I found they oversold the flight. Fortunately, I had a confirmed seat, but the first flight of the morning does not get any happier or easier when it's jammed full of people, and a bunch of people are arguing/pleading with the gate agent to see if they could be squeezed on. (Which surprised me, really. That many people for a 6am flight? Wow.)

We also had two false starts on trying to leave the airport, when the pilot announced that the "hoses for refueling and loading the water system for the toilets" at the gate were not working, so we got to move to another gate and do that before we left.

When we reached Dulles, I was supposed to have an hour layover. Instead, I arrived just in time to run to the next gate for boarding the flight to Columbus, get settled in there...and then sit on the tarmac for another 20 minutes due to "luggage issues."

I suspect part of the issues were transferring luggage from the Atlanta flight to our second leg.

Finally, we got to Columbus, I found Alex waiting for me at baggage claim...and my bag didn't show up. My carry on was fine, my tuxedo bag was fine...but the bag with all my actual stuff? Nope.

We talked to the nice United lady (with Alex, thankfully, running some interference for me because I was frankly starting to crack a bit - the last straw, as it were...), and we got lucky - they'd accidentally left it on the cart transferring the bags off the plane. One of the baggage guys actually brought it out to me.

Once we left Port Columbus, we hit Rise and Dine so I could eat something, and then I came home and crashed from about 11:30-4. Pictures are up in my Flickr, my head feels like it's full of cheese, and I'm really tired, but at the same time...

I look at one of the pictures I took at the reception: Cossack with a grin that's going to split his face, Amanda clearly just as happy but a little more restrained.

Thinking about how happy they both were yesterday, and how much it meant to them that I was there for that day?

I would go through all of it again in a heartbeat.

Comments

[flying-landon.livejournal.com]

Isn't flying fun?

Due to awesome overselling of flights, my total travel time back from Thailand was somewhere just past 30 hours instead of the usual 24. Due to overselling so many flights form Chicago to Detroit, it backed over two flights and after that about 50 people were put up in a hotel over night for the next morning. Luckily I got on the flight that flew out at 10:30.. instead of 4 in the afternoon like I was supposed to.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Gwuh. Eyuck, man.

The worst thing is, I have to got to my paternal grandfather's 75th birthday party. (I didn't get a choice - I was sent a ticket), in about 3 weeks...so I get to do this all! Over! Again!

[chaptal.livejournal.com]

Flying is no longer a source of pleasure, but an ordeal. Glad you had a great trip when you were not at the airport.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

It's a shame, too, because it really is a pleasant way to travel when you're actually -on the plane-.

Ah, well.

[jennekirby.livejournal.com]

Ugh, anyone who calls me "babe" or "baby" gets the death-glare. Especially if I am being forced to interact with them, as in a situation like this.

A blessed day? I have never been asked that, and it would kinda wig me out. "Still breathing, must be blessed!"

Glad that the actual purpose of the trip was good, in any case!

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Blessed day seems to be the regional mutation of "nice day" for a lot of the Christian demographic down there. several of the peopl I work with from Georgia all do it, too.

Yeah, that was the big thing. The rest was just (irritating) filler.

[flying-landon.livejournal.com]

Like BZA said.. you get that a LOT down south.

[jennekirby.livejournal.com]

Well... I live in a part of Florida that is genuinely the South, but don't get it a lot. I guess I just don't look like a "baby" (well, to anyone except old men on the street, whose pet names for me I have learned to ignore unless I really need a self-esteem boost that day). "Hon" and "sweetie" I can do (though the latter grates on me) after eighteen years in Maryland, so I assume if I lived in a more normal southern area for a while baby wouldn't seem so bad either...

[koma-chan.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. Christians are all over 'blessed day' down here. I say it, too. I get some comfort from them not knowing they're getting a blessing from a heathen and pagan. :D

[jennekirby.livejournal.com]

Nice! :)

Being wished a blessed day wouldn't bug me much, 'cause, well, whatever. Either your wishing it makes my day actually better, or it has no impact on me. But being asked if I am? I suppose I'm a little biased by my own religious beliefs that dictate that if someone exists, he or she is having a blessed day. What does a blessed day have that a non-blessed day doesn't, anyway? I mean, what could actually change your response to that question? If you're willing to say no to it, is there any kind of day that would make you say yes? How about if you're the other way around?

[koma-chan.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. It'd make for an interesting social experiment, now that you mention it. Perhaps, next time I am asked, I shall respond, in kind, "Nay, good lady. I am convinced there is a hex upon this much accursed day. Pray tell, ye have not seen the moon turn blood red and the rain come down when the day star is high and bright?"

...I think they'd leave me alone, then. o.o

[koma-chan.livejournal.com]

ATL sucks eggs big time. DFW airport is sooo much better, and I never really appreciated it until living here in GA. x.x

I'm so so sorry that you had to deal with those... people. ._.

But I hope you have a good rest. o.o/