(no subject)

Home, alive, safe, and all that. Spent some time hanging out with ijikeru, who was kind enough to buy me a copy of Megatokyo vol. 1 at Virgin (and at $9, I think it's the cheapest thing I've ever -seen- at a Virgin store!)

Alison's doing okay, on new meds.

Looks like we leave for Florida after early Sunday church. Can't tell you how much I 'look forward' to that.

I mean...I want it to go well, but I just can't make up a lot of enthusiasm for this.

We'll see.

(Also got the disturbing sight today of my Dad apparently trying on his swimsuit and walking around.....he looks emaciated. Like, pictures of P.O.W.s and Jews leaving the concentration camps emaciated. I could count his ribs, and a lot of his flesh just sort of hung off his bones, and not in good ways. If that's what dieting does for people who go down to 'proper' weight levels, I'm increasingly distrustful of this Optifast shit. I actually -like- who I am. I don't think that's an improvement.)

(no subject)

Last night...I did not sleep well.

I had a lot of nightmares. I remember one where I had a truly titanic fight with both parents. Screaming until my throat was stripped.

I remember one where their skin actually sloughed off when they went into a pool.

The only thing that kept me from screaming was I started to wake up, and I swear I felt skarlette suddenly hugging me.

Then I woke up, and within 2 minutes of leaving the shower, my parents made me sit on their bed (as they hadn't gotten out of it yet), and dressed me down for not showing the "proper gratidude, affection, and respect" to my grandmother because I had forgotten to untie them last night when I took them off.

I didn't start crying till I left the room.

They're still upstairs. Called Steve and Noelle.

I don't care if we're supposed to leave tomorrow.

I have to get out of this house.

(no subject)

Well, came home.

Time spent with Noelle and Steve was good...but I don't feel too good, right now. Mom started what was obviously a rehearsed 'apology' before I'd even shut the door. From 3 rooms away.

She claims she didn't say what she said, or if she did she didn't mean what she said, and doesn't understand why I reacted like that.

They did admit they should have handled it better, and apparently need to learn how to talk to me like an adult, but doesn't understand why I get so defensive/offended, and why I feel like I'm in a fight every time I come home.

Can't be that I end up in a fight every time I come home.