(no subject)

[bzarcher]

Last night...I did not sleep well.

I had a lot of nightmares. I remember one where I had a truly titanic fight with both parents. Screaming until my throat was stripped.

I remember one where their skin actually sloughed off when they went into a pool.

The only thing that kept me from screaming was I started to wake up, and I swear I felt skarlette suddenly hugging me.

Then I woke up, and within 2 minutes of leaving the shower, my parents made me sit on their bed (as they hadn't gotten out of it yet), and dressed me down for not showing the "proper gratidude, affection, and respect" to my grandmother because I had forgotten to untie them last night when I took them off.

I didn't start crying till I left the room.

They're still upstairs. Called Steve and Noelle.

I don't care if we're supposed to leave tomorrow.

I have to get out of this house.

Comments

[sehkmet.livejournal.com]

Dude.

Your sanity is greater than a 'family' vacation that sounds like it isn't going to be that at all. Are you sure you have to go, and if you do, can't you possibly maybe do things either on your own, or with your sister? Seek any and all possible escape routes. Jokingly, I suggest packing your own parachute so you can bail out in Georgia or something...

I managed to wriggle out of 'family vacations' - I used work as an excuse. Can you use work, or maybe school? I encourage you to do this. The guilt that they may (and possibly will) try to put on your shoulders is nothing compared to the sheer trauma you might experience spending time with people who don't quite fully twig to the fact you're not twelve anymore. (The 'not untying your shoes shows disrespect to your grandmother' thing - God, I thought I was the only 23 year old who got that and similar from their mother. I understand your pain.)

If you can't, try to make alternate plans. Try to find things -you- would like to do, rather than being dragged to places you aren't interested in. If you have to go as a family unit, try suggesting things you prefer. At least that way, you can see something you want and maybe even split off for a little while to collect your thoughts and try to find peace, for at least a few minutes.

You sound absolutely miserable, Matt. I understand your parents may not acknowledge this... which means it may take something more to show them you aren't happy with how things are going in your family unit. Showing independence is not a bad thing; the apronstrings have to be loosened, if not cut, sometime.

And for the record: no, I don't hate my parents. I love my parents rather a lot - but I can't live with them anymore... and we are starting to learn that the hard way.

--S.

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

Actually, I -am- absolutely miserable, I'd say.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like there's much I can do to get out of it. (And unfortunately, we're driving -all- the way...)

I'll try to turn things to my Advantage. We'll see what happens....