In response to a trend.

[bzarcher]

I need to note for those XME players who have been adding this journal to their IC characters that this is /not/ Chamber's IC journal. In fact, he doesn't have an IC journal. :D

This is his player's journal, and though I do now and again make IC entries for him in here if I have the urge to write, it's not my primary writing. Most of this is the maddened ravings of your average recent college graduate forced into the big wide world, so be warned, and leave now if that's not what you want.



O mother dear
Look what you've done
To your forlorn and once beloved son
Why was I born at all?
O mother dear
I'm such a freak
A mutant man, a woman underneath
Why was I born at all?

It's you I blame for all the shame
This anguish and this aching
The mirror turned against the wall
Myself despised, forsaken

You say, "Beauty is within us, your mother knows"
"Theres' a beauty that's within us, just like a rose"
You say, "Beauty is within us, so let it grow"
But it's grown so dark and ugly

O mother dear
I curse you so
For breathing life into your wretched son
Why were you born at all?
O mother dear
I love you so
O please forgive this anger in my soul
Without you I'm alone...

It's me who's been eternally damned
Trapped inside this cage, a ruined man
All damaged and depraved

O mother dear
This misery
Has settled like a stain upon my skin
-a vast unspoken sin...

And my mistake is much too late
But your mistake was trusting
That out of grief a goodness comes
And love comes out of lusting

You say, "Beauty is within us, your mother knows"
"Theres' a beauty that's within us, just like a rose"
You say, "Beauty is within us, so let it grow"
But it's grown so dark I can not see you anymore...

"O Beauty is within us, mother knows"
"O beauty is within us, like a rose"
"O Beauty is within us, let it grow"
"O mother dear, let me out of here!"

You say, "Beauty is within us, your mother knows"
"Theres' a beauty that's within us, just like a rose"
You say, "Beauty is within us, so let it grow"
But it's grown so dark I can not see you anymore...

"O Beauty is within us, mother knows"
"O beauty is within us, like a rose"
"O Beauty is within us, let it grow"
"O mother dear, let me out of here!"


Ironically, this is set to incredibly beautiful and tender music.

Jono's sorta song, indeed.