(no subject)

[bzarcher]

I am an utter fuckup.

neeri needed to push up me helping her look for a car today, so I made arrangements with Alex to delay going to olde mill for a bit to do so.
The dealership took forever, which was not helped by my bad directions to get to Sterling because I didn't realize she was coming from the opposite side of town. Then Alex had to wait because he showed up while we were finishing her test drive. Then they tried to get her into something she didn't want. Not good, and I didn't help enough.

When Alex and I were getting ready to go, I found out that we did not have a couple hours as planned, but less than an hour due to him not remembering an exam he needed to study for. And he mentioned that he really wanted to be in a hurry. So as he followed me over to olde mill, I hurried. And I hurried well enough that I lost him in the Sawmill road traffic. In fact, well enough that he got pissed when I called to apologize, and he went home without ever looking at the apartment because I was being 'way too dangerous'. Probably true.

So. I fucked up someone's attempt to get a new car, I fucked up someone's exam study time and attempt to get a new apartment, and I probably fucked myself out of a roommate for an apartment AND quite a few options for a new apartment.

BIG fucking good job there. Fucking moron.

I'm torn between screaming at myself awhile longer, or just taking a knife and cutting penance into my arms.

I may do both.

Comments

[purplemanatee.livejournal.com]

Do neither. Things happen. Many of those things were beyond your control. You did not forget that he had to study. You did not control traffic. Take some deep breaths, and try to calm down.

[faire-damsel.livejournal.com]

It's Not Your Fault. Mistakes Are Made. That's Why They Put Erasers On Pencils! *Hugs*

[silentsteel.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* :(

[avylin.livejournal.com]

Put the damn knife down. Mistakes happen. Nobody died, though. Nobody's life has been ruined. So some sort of permanent punishment... like, say, scars... are by no means fitting to any crime, real or imagined.

In ten, twenty, fifty years, are you going to look back on this and kick yourself? You probably won't be happy about it, no, that would be silly, but to carry it with you throughout life would be foolish. So don't go making marks that you WILL carry with you, either.

[gigerlicious.livejournal.com]

I don't want to hear about any fucking self-mutilation.



Get back up.



GET BACK UP.

*Sweetie*

[skarlette.livejournal.com]

If you cut yourself, then I will too. I do this to remind you that you are precious to me. and thus by hurting yourself, you're hurting me. *Hugs* It will be okay, trust me on this.

[ptika.livejournal.com]

Dude, traffic sucks, and running out of time sucks. My sympathies.

[doomflower.livejournal.com]

WTF??

You lost someone in traffic, and now you're going to cut your arms??

Calm down, man!! I'm with Giger. GET BACK UP!!

Re: *Sweetie*

[demeterschild.livejournal.com]

Ditto.
And I'm close enough to drive up and bleed on your parents' carpet.
And all over Alex if he ever loses his temper like that again.
*evil grin*

Re: *Sweetie*

[bzarcher.livejournal.com]

In his defense, Alex probably did have legit reason to be angry about how I was driving, when you consider how I tend to put my frustration into things on the road.

As angry as he got? I don't know. But legit reason to be angry.