bzarcher | HST, pt. 2

So, it's looking increasingly like Hunter chose his way out the door because of major neurological trouble. Not too surprising, all things considered.

I know it's a bit morbid, but there's something about the whole thing that niggles a bit at me. I'm writing because it helps me express it and, I think, perhaps come to grips with it a bit more. (Not that I shoiuld be having as much trouble as I am. I may have read his writing for 17 years (yes, I was 7 when I got my hands on some of it) but I never met the man. The closest connections I have to him are the fact he spoke at Wooster, many years before I attended it, and reading his collected correspondance. But the man was...an icon? Perhaps a figure of fascination. Always wondering what the fuck he'd do next.)

That correspondance also leads to what still bothers me. According to the press release from the family, there was no note.

That doesn't fit.

This is a man who, on one occasion, wrote more than fifteen letters to explain why a tweed jacket he'd purchased from a mail-order distributor didn't suit his needs or requirements, and why he'd like a refund on it, and the money credited towards another jacket he obtained from them that was much better, thanks.

He wrote almost daily for at least 50 years, and I suspect more than that if we looked deep enough. Letters to friends, editors, his son, his wife, his creditors, stores, articles, work, bit pieces, and the rest.

If he was really spending much of the past few months putting affairs in order (and evidence does suggest that, apparently), I cannot imagine there was no note.

However, I suspect that the note was something very private. He valued his privacy, and even more, that his family should have privacy. I do wonder if it was written for Juan and Sandy, and perhaps a few friends, with instructions to burn the damn thing after it was read, and before the police or paramedics arrived. It seems like something he might do.

Maybe. Could be.

It's another mystery. I have a feeling it's something that other people will debate, too, and no conclusion will ever be reached.

Part of me thinks he's having a grin about that.