Random facts about Vin Diesel.
Apr. 8th, 2005 02:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bzarcherVin Diesel once fixed Stephen Hawking's body. Then Hawking tried to take over the world but Vin Diesel broke Hawking's body again after defeating him in Scrabble.
When Vin Diesel recently underwent surgery to remove an obstructed liver, surgeons were suprised to find a smaller Vin Diesel inside him.
Vin Diesel was the eighth son of a seventh son, which drove him to a mad, vengeful hate of his family, he has them in cryostasis in that underground warehouse in Nebraska.
After the big bang happened, all the matter in the universe was projected outwards at millions of miles per hour toward the edges of space. The only thing left in the middle was Vin Diesel.
If the words "Autobots Transform!" are ever spoken in Vin Diesel's presence, his body will fold in and out of itself, forming a 1998 Dodge Neon. If he hears the words "Deceptacons Attack!", he emits an atomic blast out of his urethra.
Google searches Vin Diesel. EDIT: That's not 100% correct. 97 of Google's 132 primary clusters are subcutaneously implanted under Vin's left nipple. However, after the Paris Hilton sidekick fiasco, it was discovered that Vin Diesel lacked sufficient power density and bandwidth to keep Google running smoothly under heavy load, so 35 of the primary search clusters were removed from the actual Vin Diesel, and implanted in his Doppelganger from the Bizarro universe. Bizarro Vin Diesel is a scrawny japanese-american accountant who resides in Murfreesboro, Tennesee.
...I could do this all day.
When Vin Diesel recently underwent surgery to remove an obstructed liver, surgeons were suprised to find a smaller Vin Diesel inside him.
Vin Diesel was the eighth son of a seventh son, which drove him to a mad, vengeful hate of his family, he has them in cryostasis in that underground warehouse in Nebraska.
After the big bang happened, all the matter in the universe was projected outwards at millions of miles per hour toward the edges of space. The only thing left in the middle was Vin Diesel.
If the words "Autobots Transform!" are ever spoken in Vin Diesel's presence, his body will fold in and out of itself, forming a 1998 Dodge Neon. If he hears the words "Deceptacons Attack!", he emits an atomic blast out of his urethra.
Google searches Vin Diesel. EDIT: That's not 100% correct. 97 of Google's 132 primary clusters are subcutaneously implanted under Vin's left nipple. However, after the Paris Hilton sidekick fiasco, it was discovered that Vin Diesel lacked sufficient power density and bandwidth to keep Google running smoothly under heavy load, so 35 of the primary search clusters were removed from the actual Vin Diesel, and implanted in his Doppelganger from the Bizarro universe. Bizarro Vin Diesel is a scrawny japanese-american accountant who resides in Murfreesboro, Tennesee.
...I could do this all day.
