(no subject)

[bzarcher]

I feel really bad I didn't get neeri's message until it was too late. Same that I missed spiralpegasus.

Had fun playing Settlers of Cataan Saturday, but the LARP...egn.

I know it was important to Isa, and I know she was really happy to get the chance to RP with me, and I'm really glad her OWBN character got out of trouble and some major Ventrue status, but...it didn't feel very well run, my character had nothing to do after the 1st night, and after awhile...I wish I'd just gone and done looney labs stuff with ijikeru and fraterrisus. I'm still annoyed at myself for not matching schedules so we could go to dinner, too.

I'm also still trying to reconcile how someone who doesn't want relationships justifies having me sit in the back of Alex's car on the drive back from Origins so she can "cuddles with her mattpillow" (Yes, that's a quote.)

I dunno.

Apparently, despite the fact that Steve and Noelle both had my cell #, and Noelle came down and visitied with Isa and I at the LARP, Steve is very pissed at us because we played in a LARP that one of his exes was running and we didn't do stuff with him. Nevermind the fact that we told him repeatedly we wanted to get together with him, and even made plans at one point, and he blew off us and the plans. I suppose it's a cardinal sin to make a phone call? Ah, well.

Apparently the voicemail on my phone is screwy. Will talk to Verizon at some point about it, but don't have the energy for it today.

God, I feel tired. Things hurt. A lot. I think I pulled my shoulder carrying around a bag with my and Isa's costume wardrobes for most of the weekend.

Part of me worries that I'm not really emoitonally cut out to be in a relationship right now.

The other part of me is starting to painfully feel the lack of someone in my life on that level. I want to spend a night cuddled, watching stars. I want to wake up next to someone and make her breakfast. I want to have someone who I can always be sharing with. I want to know that I can come home to more than an empty room and the computer. Even if for some of the time it's at the other end of a phoneline, or emails, or IMs. Knowing there is someone else -there-.

I should stop. I'm rambling.

Comments

[pteryx.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* Maybe you're rambling, but understandably so if you're that lonely. I tend to think that all I could really offer you is a distraction, though. (I do still owe you FFT, right? Though I don't know if I still have your current address...) -- Pteryx