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bzarcherDidn't help I got awoken a half hour earlier than planned by my grandparents calling to see if I could go to the Mikado this weekend, despite having told them and my parents no when asked earlier, because it conflicts with the speaker that I was asked to take out to dinner along with several other History majors, and the conference et al.
But...it's not just that.
I think, as much as I love M3, and as much as I've tried to promote it to others and expended energy, it's starting to grind me down. And some of that may be because I'm standing as Hunter Wiz, Maverick Wiz, Assistant Director, and kinda doing everything else that needs done when we can't catch anyone else, but...a lot of it is just coming out of all of the increasing divides in the players, I suspect. I spend a lot of time either playing peacemaker or apologizing, and more often than not I try to set up compromises and they go horribly wrong.
I couldn't even log in this morning without things exploding, and having to try to do my best to help parties involved.
And the worst part is, I don't know if I can actually leave, or even take a vacation, not only because we'd not be able to cover the staffing holes, but because I strongly suspect the MUSH would tear itself apart in fairly short order.
Egotistical, perhaps, but it certainly feels like I'm one of the few people trying to back and forth to both sides of the arguments, and that I'm the one all the people needing compromises go to.
So. The room is too small, and I am unable to leave.
Edit: People have contacted me asking me to make it a public entry. So I am.
But...it's not just that.
I think, as much as I love M3, and as much as I've tried to promote it to others and expended energy, it's starting to grind me down. And some of that may be because I'm standing as Hunter Wiz, Maverick Wiz, Assistant Director, and kinda doing everything else that needs done when we can't catch anyone else, but...a lot of it is just coming out of all of the increasing divides in the players, I suspect. I spend a lot of time either playing peacemaker or apologizing, and more often than not I try to set up compromises and they go horribly wrong.
I couldn't even log in this morning without things exploding, and having to try to do my best to help parties involved.
And the worst part is, I don't know if I can actually leave, or even take a vacation, not only because we'd not be able to cover the staffing holes, but because I strongly suspect the MUSH would tear itself apart in fairly short order.
Egotistical, perhaps, but it certainly feels like I'm one of the few people trying to back and forth to both sides of the arguments, and that I'm the one all the people needing compromises go to.
So. The room is too small, and I am unable to leave.
Edit: People have contacted me asking me to make it a public entry. So I am.
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There is a ten feet tall troll in a room with a seven feet tall door.
Date: 2003-04-09 07:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-09 08:08 am (UTC)But...yeah. I have this bad habit of overcommitting myself to things I care about, but hopefully things will turn around.