(no subject)
Mar. 20th, 2004 03:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bzarcherRules for good porn:
1: Good porn should not have to beat you over the head with sex to get you horny.
2: Lust should /not/ be the overriding emotion. Make us laugh, make us cry, make us wonder, make us smile with an edge.
3: The mind needs sex as much as the body.
4: Physical attributes help, but they aren't the be-all end all.
5: Use as much creativity as possible.
6: A plot really doesn't hurt, especially if you're consistent to it.
7: You don't always have to be in-front vivid. A bit of mystery just makes it better.
8: There's absolutely nothing wrong with it being a little goofy and tender as well as lusty. Affection can go a long way.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
silentsteel
9: Erotic is worlds better than raunchy.silentsteel
10: Nobody should be wearing socks.avylin
11: Nobody should look drunk, sleepy, bored, drugged-out, or disgusted.avylin
12: Music should be dubbed into the video. Not played on an off screen stereo.flying_landon
13: The Wah-wah pedal, Saxophone, and bass guitar are instruments. Not constant noisemakers that should go as loud and fast as possible.spacemangroove
14: Blaring white lights just to make sure everything is visible need not apply. Sometimes the softer the light, and the darker the room, with just the right amount of candles, works more than having everything visible.ladylysander
15: Doggie Style is not the only 'wild' way to go. The ancients wrote an entire book of poses, try using them instead.ladylysander
16: For the love of god, stop shoving cameras up so close you see every wrinkle on the guy's love dingle.ladylysander
17: There should be more to talking dirty than, "Fuck me harder!" and, "You're a dirty slut, aren't you?!"nachitor
18: On the FFM threesome: The threesome is no fun unless all three people are involved at the same time, and in a significant way. Ladies, guys have no problem eating you out, why should you get squicked by eating out someone else? Think of it as mutual masturbation.spacemangroove
19: Foreplay is very interesting to see. Build up is very nice. Going straight to the deed right off is, well, stupid. Unless one is good to go now (which is very rare), things need to be well lubricated in order not to rub the wrong way. Capiche?skarlette
20: Come on lines, in virtually any situation not involving a massive orgy should involve something significantly more clever than the words, "Hey baby, wanna fuck?"spacemangroove
Any suggestions for what to add to the list? Keep giving them in the comments and I'll keep appending!
1: Good porn should not have to beat you over the head with sex to get you horny.
2: Lust should /not/ be the overriding emotion. Make us laugh, make us cry, make us wonder, make us smile with an edge.
3: The mind needs sex as much as the body.
4: Physical attributes help, but they aren't the be-all end all.
5: Use as much creativity as possible.
6: A plot really doesn't hurt, especially if you're consistent to it.
7: You don't always have to be in-front vivid. A bit of mystery just makes it better.
8: There's absolutely nothing wrong with it being a little goofy and tender as well as lusty. Affection can go a long way.
silentsteel9: Erotic is worlds better than raunchy.
silentsteel10: Nobody should be wearing socks.
avylin11: Nobody should look drunk, sleepy, bored, drugged-out, or disgusted.
avylin12: Music should be dubbed into the video. Not played on an off screen stereo.
flying_landon13: The Wah-wah pedal, Saxophone, and bass guitar are instruments. Not constant noisemakers that should go as loud and fast as possible.
spacemangroove14: Blaring white lights just to make sure everything is visible need not apply. Sometimes the softer the light, and the darker the room, with just the right amount of candles, works more than having everything visible.
ladylysander15: Doggie Style is not the only 'wild' way to go. The ancients wrote an entire book of poses, try using them instead.
ladylysander16: For the love of god, stop shoving cameras up so close you see every wrinkle on the guy's love dingle.
ladylysander17: There should be more to talking dirty than, "Fuck me harder!" and, "You're a dirty slut, aren't you?!"
nachitor18: On the FFM threesome: The threesome is no fun unless all three people are involved at the same time, and in a significant way. Ladies, guys have no problem eating you out, why should you get squicked by eating out someone else? Think of it as mutual masturbation.
spacemangroove19: Foreplay is very interesting to see. Build up is very nice. Going straight to the deed right off is, well, stupid. Unless one is good to go now (which is very rare), things need to be well lubricated in order not to rub the wrong way. Capiche?
skarlette20: Come on lines, in virtually any situation not involving a massive orgy should involve something significantly more clever than the words, "Hey baby, wanna fuck?"
spacemangrooveAny suggestions for what to add to the list? Keep giving them in the comments and I'll keep appending!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 12:55 pm (UTC)9. Erotic is worlds better than raunchy.
:)
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 12:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 03:00 pm (UTC)9. Nobody should look drunk, sleepy, bored, drugged-out, or disgusted.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 06:58 pm (UTC)Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 06:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 07:56 pm (UTC)Doggie Style is not the only 'wild' way to go. The ancients wrote an entire book of poses, try using them instead.
And for the love of god, stop shoving cameras up so close you see every wrinkle on the guy's love dingle.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 08:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 08:37 pm (UTC)Love dingle, ain't no passin' craze,
It's what's between the knees,
Dangles down the legs...
.. I'll stop ripping off Disney and Something Posetive simultaniously now.
*bows*
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 08:04 pm (UTC)It makes me cry.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 09:35 pm (UTC)The threesome is no fun unless all three people are involved at the same time, and in a significant way. Ladies, guys have no problem eating you out, why should you get squicked by eating out somoene else? Think of it as mutual masturbation.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-22 08:07 am (UTC)Come on lines, in virtually any situation not involving a massive orgy should involve something significantly more clever than the words, "Hey baby, wanna fuck?" Which is how many porno scenes start, if there is any pre sex dialog at all. Sad really.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-20 11:00 pm (UTC)Quick! Someone give me a large budget and a half-decent crew, and I'll go make some low-budget porn with plots ... and continuity! And it might actually make you think or feel something beyond your crotch!
no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 06:23 am (UTC)*Grins and raises her hand*
Date: 2004-03-21 08:56 am (UTC)*Laughs!*
Date: 2004-03-21 08:57 am (UTC)However, you realize this gives me so many naughty little openings...
Re: *Laughs!*
Date: 2004-03-21 09:22 am (UTC)Can you imagine the job interview at this theoretical company?
I can. Sounds like fodder for
no subject
Date: 2004-03-21 10:12 am (UTC)Actually, the job interview would be vital. We're going to need people with good intelligence, the ability to take, make, and run with jokes, and a real love of the job.
This cannot be 'just sex'. You have to enjoy what you're doing, and why you're doing it. And we'll want to hear your favorite author while you're at it.
Maybe even make favorite authors and movies part of the questionarie.
I wonder how hard it is to get venture capital for something like this.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-22 06:15 am (UTC)I'll say this however, you'll never know how hard it is (*sigh*) until you try.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-22 06:18 am (UTC)