bzarcher | (no subject)

dammit. Dammit. DAMMIT. DAMMIT!

I'm hearing friends, and how they're hurting, especially one in particular, and I can't do anything to help them. The only things I can offer won't work. Every time I try to attack the problem, turn it to angles, find a way to approach them...all I get is more and more headaches.

I hate this. I've been told since early childhood that I'm a genius. That I have above average mental abilities and problem-solving skills.

So why the fuck am I sitting here useless? Some fucking genius I am.

I know I shouldn't feel like this...but...when a friend tells you she feels that she's died inside, and all I can do is stand there and try to speak...

I feel like one of those people who get the report card "needs to apply himself to succeed." Except I never did, and now I'm left with nothing, not even the potential.

I'm crying. I'm sitting at the computer table in my parent's living room, and I'm crying. Consider this part of that, except it doesn't wake them up. You probably don't want to read it.